Comedic Psychologist Gifts

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Zoo: No Hunting.

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

X-RAY

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

"Don't think of it as forgetting stuff. Think of it as freeing up brain space."

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

'Listen son-if God had wanted us to fly he would have given us air tickets.'

Monkey Business College

"So, all this talk about appealing to our better angels..."

Tree growing

"What if we don't like their country personas?"

When psychiatry works too well!

'I don't remember his name, but he also sold me $14,000 worth of aluminum siding.'

"Great pet, but we should have given him less energy."

So the short answer is no; these aren't billable hours.

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

"I expected to see some politicians in there!"