Comedic Psychology Lover Gifts

"When you lie about yourself, is it to appear closer to or farther away from the middle of the bell curve?"

Biofelineism

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Zoo: No Hunting.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"I know. But I think I can change him."

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

Genetic Fingerprinting.

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"It all began when I was a boy. The aroma of freshly baked bread was everywhere, choking me with it's calm, soothing and nutritious lies..."

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

Monkey Business College

'Listen son-if God had wanted us to fly he would have given us air tickets.'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

Tree growing

So the short answer is no; these aren't billable hours.

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

"What if we don't like their country personas?"

"Come on, Doc, one of us has to relax,"