Comedic Perspective Seeker Gifts

When psychiatry works too well!

Zoo: No Hunting.

"My computer just texted me."

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

"Hey! This is news."

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

Glimpses One Dollar

"Don't think of it as hell. . . just think of it as a normally recurring seasonal weather pattern."

"We got him onto an exercise bike, but I'm afraid it was too late."

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

'I'm knitting you sweater... do you want it too big or too small?'

Men and Women's changing rooms

'I don't remember his name, but he also sold me $14,000 worth of aluminum siding.'

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

"Call me a hopeless romantic, but I assumed he was just inviting me."

Tree growing

So the short answer is no; these aren't billable hours.

"When I said the surgery was minimally invasive I wasn't talking about your finances."

"I expected to see some politicians in there!"

How cats see their home

Lambo

'I hope we don't start getting competition from redundant bankers homes.'

'You thought I'd gone out of business? What gave you that idea?'

'I really hope that Fred makes the most of it until she joins him for the rest of eternity!'

"Wait a minute! - First you say, 'Lay up treasures in Heaven,' and then you say, 'You can't take it with you'!"

"Where do you see yourself 5 years ago?"

Screenwasher cleaning buggy.

"I have an existential dread of falling off your couch."