Comedic Scientist T-Shirts

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

Spider Facts.

Genetic Fingerprinting.

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Candid Camera store.

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

Zoo: No Hunting.

'Let's call him lucky!'

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Thumbing a Lift.

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

Man walking a long dog on a fishing rod.

E=Emcee Squared

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

"You sure are ringin' my bell, Baby!"

Smart 3 Piece Suite.

'Listen son-if God had wanted us to fly he would have given us air tickets.'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

Monkey Business College

"I've decided to have a kid."