Suburban Skeptics Gifts

'You might think it's your roof, but it's really my yard.'

"He loves his leaf blower."

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

"No religious nuts!"

"To cross street, push button, wait for walk signal, wait, wait some more."

Autumn Leaves

Stupid medicine - Shake Well Before Using.

Intentional Community vs. Community of Sheer Happenstance

Opium Den 2019

"My teacher says I lack 'intellectual curiosity,' whatever that is."

Suburban blues legends

Country Mouse and City Mouse Meet Suburb Mouse

Poker Moms

Quiz Today. I don't remember clicking of any terms of agreement that cover this!

'Well, that's just great...zombies! There goes the neighbourhood!'

"We thought a soulless, desolate community would be good for the kids."

'And me fresh out of xanax.'

"It ran amok."

"Beware of everything."

"If the Greenlanders don't want to become Americans, Trump can buy our meadow! It's green, too, and we wouldn't have to keep pulling up the weeds!"

Titian's Venus of Mamaroneck

"I'm home dear! So what have you been doing today?"

(Used to be) END.

"The boondocks R us, I guess."

Mowing the Lawn

'It's my first dog house with indoor plumbing.'

REPORT CARD, 'Maybe it got garbled in transmission.'

Next 5 Exits: Five sprawling suburbs that look so much like each other even WE can't tell the difference any more. Best of luck to you.

"'Scuse me, you getting out?"

"I hear he lets his kids stay out all day. Shameful."

"Don't answer—it's those pickleballers again."

All-Christopher Neighborhood, Westport, CT, 1988

We're stuck here for the entire summer. It's loserville! Let's start "the most boring town" contest. I bet there's one already on the web. Darn! Here's a "top ten tedious towns" list. We're not on it. West Fester is so boring, it's not even the most boring.

'Every Sunday I thank God that I'm an atheist!'