"We thought a soulless, desolate community would be good for the kids."
Suburban Philosopher Gifts
Celebrate the contemplative soul with gifts designed for the suburban philosopher. Perfect for those who enjoy pondering life's big questions in a peaceful neighborhood setting. Our collection features witty mugs, clever t-shirts, cozy pillows, and inspiring prints that capture their love for deep thoughts and creative musings. Whether they’re a budding thinker or a well-established philosopher of everyday life, these thoughtful items add a touch of humor and insight to their routines.
"By the way, this isn't my idea of a vacation."
"Ever since that new young couple moved in upstairs we're yesterday's news."
Opium Den 2019
'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'
No Immediate Danger
"He loves his leaf blower."
He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.
"The end of my favorite series is near."
'I love this street...it's so real man...'
"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."
Of pitting his own wits against their natural cunning
'Nothing like being your own boss, huh?'
"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."
"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."
Populating URBAN DICTIONARY.
"Time like these make me wish we had sprung for that apartment with a park view."
"On a clear night when the stars are twinkling over the city, I almost don’t mind that civilization collapsed."
From Here You Can See Bugger All
'See, Jimmy, as the population grows too dense, the rats begin to brutalize each other...'
"Hmm...any dietary restrictions?"
"When satire becomes indistinguishable from reality, there's a problem."
Suburban street.
One youth says: 'Lamppost, bollard, tarmac, kerb.' Other says: Zebra crossing,traffic hump, postbox.' Caption: Street language
"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"
Your logic is flaccid and your data suppositional, dawg!
Amongst the rush.
"I don't miss my accountancy life. I find I get out more nowadays."
"The first step towards solving New York's City's problems is to STATE them, which I will now proceed to do."
"One day, son, all these skyscrapers that we built for no reason and lie empty will be yours."
Hedge Car
'I was hoping you could help me with an implant.'
Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!
"Of course, you try to raise your kids so they won't need lawyers."
'He lives in a house, and it's by the side of the road, but he's still not a friend to man.'
Suburban Philosopher Gifts Collection
Suburban Philosopher Mugs
Discover more clever and thoughtful mugs perfect for the suburban philosopher. Find designs that make mornings more insightful and humorous.
Suburban Philosopher Pillows
Relax with pillows that add a contemplative charm to any space. Perfect for creating a cozy, inspiring environment.
Suburban Philosopher Prints
Brighten their home with prints that celebrate creative thinking and suburban tranquility. Ideal for inspiring daily reflections.
Suburban Philosopher T-Shirts
Explore T-shirts that showcase the witty and philosophical side of suburban life. Great for casual wear and meaningful expressions.