Urbanite Philosopher Gifts

"The end of my patience is near!"

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

No Immediate Danger

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

Mr Metrosexual.

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

"What's wrong, girl? Trouble? Rachel can't decide which private school to attend?" "Upper West Side Lassie"

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

Can't even hold signs well.

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

'I love this street...it's so real man...'

'Nothing like being your own boss, huh?'

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

"Time like these make me wish we had sprung for that apartment with a park view."

Populating URBAN DICTIONARY.

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

Demonic Repossession.

From Here You Can See Bugger All

'See, Jimmy, as the population grows too dense, the rats begin to brutalize each other...'

"On a clear night when the stars are twinkling over the city, I almost don’t mind that civilization collapsed."

"Hmm...any dietary restrictions?"

One youth says: 'Lamppost, bollard, tarmac, kerb.' Other says: Zebra crossing,traffic hump, postbox.' Caption: Street language

"When satire becomes indistinguishable from reality, there's a problem."

'I see the rebranded mobile methadone project got underway.'

"I wish there was a way to get out of the city this summer without leaving Manhattan."

Your logic is flaccid and your data suppositional, dawg!

Amongst the rush.

'It's the council's flood defence system.'

"Of course, you try to raise your kids so they won't need lawyers."

"The first step towards solving New York's City's problems is to STATE them, which I will now proceed to do."

'He lives in a house, and it's by the side of the road, but he's still not a friend to man.'

"One day, son, all these skyscrapers that we built for no reason and lie empty will be yours."

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'