Urbanite Thinker Gifts

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

No Immediate Danger

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

Mr Metrosexual.

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

"What's wrong, girl? Trouble? Rachel can't decide which private school to attend?" "Upper West Side Lassie"

Populating URBAN DICTIONARY.

"Time like these make me wish we had sprung for that apartment with a park view."

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

Demonic Repossession.

From Here You Can See Bugger All

"On a clear night when the stars are twinkling over the city, I almost don’t mind that civilization collapsed."

'See, Jimmy, as the population grows too dense, the rats begin to brutalize each other...'

"Hmm...any dietary restrictions?"

"We’re trying to inject a little pastoralism into our lives."

"I wish there was a way to get out of the city this summer without leaving Manhattan."

"When satire becomes indistinguishable from reality, there's a problem."

'I see the rebranded mobile methadone project got underway.'

Your logic is flaccid and your data suppositional, dawg!

'It's the council's flood defence system.'

Amongst the rush.

"Of course, you try to raise your kids so they won't need lawyers."

"One day, son, all these skyscrapers that we built for no reason and lie empty will be yours."

"The first step towards solving New York's City's problems is to STATE them, which I will now proceed to do."

'I warned you we'd get thrown out, changing the name from the Garden of Eden.'

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

Conan the Barbarian's brother- Charles the Civilized.

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

Miracles on 34th Street.

Stop! Smell the flowers. Resume tearing through your life like a maniac.

E=mc2 - Einstein's graffiti.