Outdoorsy Skeptic Gifts

'God, what a dump!'

"I do miss trees but I don't miss the raking."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'It's great to get back to the simple life'

Winter Weather.

"Do you think the birds like me?"

Happiness is spending late summer afternoon on a buying binge at the iPhone app store.

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

"Tracks of black bear cub... Tracks of black bear mother... Tracks of Henry David Thoreau."

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

'I need it for my electric blanket.'

Ducks look alarmed at 'No Swimming' sign.

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

"You'll grow in time my boy. Until then you'll just have to be a 'little' patient!"

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

'By George, this one I think I'm going to like!'

The Farmer Sutra.

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

Workaholic on a cruise

"I love the way it blurs the boundary between inside and out."

'I became a bit claustrophobic living in a warren all the time: I prefer camping out now...'

'Ah! The great INDOORS!'

No crawling sign in the desert.

Caution - Poet at work

Carbon capture and storage

Deer in Fear

'I've got an idea. Why don't we just tack on the word 'natural' to our pesticide sprays?'

"Our carbon footprint has been very, very good to us."

Frankenfood farms: pest-resistant, fresher-longer, who-knows-what produce.

"Martha and Lee are going to be doing our environmental hand-wringing."