Outdoorsy Skeptic T-Shirts

'God, what a dump!'

"I do miss trees but I don't miss the raking."

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'It's great to get back to the simple life'

Winter Weather.

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"Tracks of black bear cub... Tracks of black bear mother... Tracks of Henry David Thoreau."

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

Ducks look alarmed at 'No Swimming' sign.

'I need it for my electric blanket.'

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

Workaholic on a cruise

'By George, this one I think I'm going to like!'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

"You'll grow in time my boy. Until then you'll just have to be a 'little' patient!"

The Farmer Sutra.

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

"I love the way it blurs the boundary between inside and out."

'Ah! The great INDOORS!'

'I became a bit claustrophobic living in a warren all the time: I prefer camping out now...'

Deer in Fear

"Martha and Lee are going to be doing our environmental hand-wringing."

Frankenfood farms: pest-resistant, fresher-longer, who-knows-what produce.

"Our carbon footprint has been very, very good to us."

Carbon capture and storage

'I've got an idea. Why don't we just tack on the word 'natural' to our pesticide sprays?'

Caution - Poet at work

No crawling sign in the desert.

'Just stop for a minute. Smell that pine scent. Drink in the view. I don't think we could pick a better site for our 'Mega-Mall'!'