Outdoor Skeptic T-Shirts

'Just stop for a minute. Smell that pine scent. Drink in the view. I don't think we could pick a better site for our 'Mega-Mall'!'

'I'll bet this would be more fun on a computer.'

"So is this the fun part, or will there be even bigger bugs sticking to my face soon?"

"Don't you just love nature programmes!"

'We've been offline for approximately 20 minutes. Is this what they call 'roughing it'?'

'Nature makes me nervous!'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

Winter Weather.

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"Tracks of black bear cub... Tracks of black bear mother... Tracks of Henry David Thoreau."

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

"No religious nuts!"

The Farmer Sutra.

'By George, this one I think I'm going to like!'

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

"I love the way it blurs the boundary between inside and out."

"Is really wet, here!"

'I became a bit claustrophobic living in a warren all the time: I prefer camping out now...'

Carbon capture and storage

Frankenfood farms: pest-resistant, fresher-longer, who-knows-what produce.

No crawling sign in the desert.

"Our carbon footprint has been very, very good to us."

Caution - Poet at work

'I've got an idea. Why don't we just tack on the word 'natural' to our pesticide sprays?'

Rational explanations

"By the way, some of us have begun to feel that 'Because it's there' is not reason enough."

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

A person is reading another person's thoughts.