Environmental Skeptic Gifts

"I remember when there was no damn environment."

'Spending the kids' inheritance doesn't go far enough - we want to bugger up the environment for them too.'

No carbon footprints beyond this point - "Whatever!"

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

Political Parties in Rival Tree Planting Pledges

"As a communist, my great-grandfather was subjected to hatred and discrimination. As a bourgeois-conservative smoker who drives a car with an internal combustion engine I continue this tradition."

Carbon capture and storage

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

Climate mania cuts off

Marsha Blackburn: "No evidence would persuade me that global warming is caused by man! I also reject the theory of evolution."

'I carbon off-set by donating to the Conservative party.'

'I've got an idea. Why don't we just tack on the word 'natural' to our pesticide sprays?'

'I'll never regret buying a Sports Utility Vehicle.'

Yorkshire Water - "Time to take a leak Gentlemen ?"

"Our carbon footprint has been very, very good to us."

Armstrong, I was wondering something. Go on. Our electricity keeps going out. You said the rolling blackouts are caused by overuse of air conditioning to deal with the heat. But summer is long over. The heat waves are gone. Might somebody be using global warming as an excuse to keep the power off and save money? I was framed.

"This should buy us some time."

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

"At least, everybody's agreed about the next summit's name!"

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

'I have trouble believing in global warming when it's so cold that my nipples and p***s are the same size.'

The science doesn't prove global warming. Stop the fraud. So why save gas because bad things "might" happen in 50 years? Global warming is hot air. Because we're going broke importing oil from countries that hate us today? Lemme see our talking points. Global warming is hot air.

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

A man sprays a bug in an organic foods shop.

"Martha and Lee are going to be doing our environmental hand-wringing."

Frankenfood farms: pest-resistant, fresher-longer, who-knows-what produce.

'Just stop for a minute. Smell that pine scent. Drink in the view. I don't think we could pick a better site for our 'Mega-Mall'!'

'This is the first hydrochloric factory to run on wind power'