Sustainable Skeptic Gifts

Shoot, I don't wanna hurt anybody, I just wanna look like I could!

This Junk Mail made from 75% Recycled Other Junk Mail.

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

"At least, everybody's agreed about the next summit's name!"

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

'I have trouble believing in global warming when it's so cold that my nipples and p***s are the same size.'

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

"Yeah, vertical cemeteries are helping urban sustainability. But going by haunted cemetery standards ... kinda lame."

Bio fuel bread.

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

Quiz

A man sprays a bug in an organic foods shop.

"Hey Maurice! Take the menu, replace 'dish of the day' with 'local free range speciality' and double the price!"

Carbon capture and storage

'It's difficult to get passioniate about things you can't pronounce.'

'I've got an idea. Why don't we just tack on the word 'natural' to our pesticide sprays?'

"Our carbon footprint has been very, very good to us."

"Martha and Lee are going to be doing our environmental hand-wringing."

'Business' recycling, heart thinking planet, head thinking money

When Bob stopped bragging about the economic benefits of his conestoga rickshaw.

"Although not an unqualified success the climate summit has pointed us in the right direction..."

'800 years and this is how it all ends... (sigh).'

Wind farms

"The world takes aim at global warming targets."

Jesse Helms - US Senator.

'This is the first hydrochloric factory to run on wind power'

All we do is add the wind vanes!

'America uses 20 million barrels of oil a day. Our profits are up, but is it sustainable? Will consumers run out of money?'

"So much for global warming!"