Organic Skeptics Gifts

The Jeopardy of Progress

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

Alternative Medicine

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

"At least, everybody's agreed about the next summit's name!"

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

Celebrity Phrenologist.

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

"Well...this meeting is about...ummhh...structure and...ummhhh...preparation. Well...ummhh...at least I think so..."

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."

Science deniers Soc.

Way Too Genetically Engineered Chicken