Organic Skeptics Pillows

Lemonade. Ernie! Great idea. I'll take a cup. Coming up. Is it cold? It's kissed by the sun. Um, that's a lot of pulp. It's chunky style. And there's a fly in it. It's an animal friendly product. Ernie! The fly is floating on a clump of dirt! Which makes it organic!

The Jeopardy of Progress

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Alternative Medicine

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"At least, everybody's agreed about the next summit's name!"

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

"I totally meant to do that."

"Well...this meeting is about...ummhh...structure and...ummhhh...preparation. Well...ummhh...at least I think so..."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

Way Too Genetically Engineered Chicken

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."