Anti-organic Enthusiast Gifts

'Health foods don't interest me. I need all the preservatives i can get.'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

But is it organic?

Politically Correct Snowperson

See you at the farmers market!

At the market

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

All Natural Nothing

Eco Princess

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"Mulch madness"

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'Our health-care system - eat organically.'

"Oh, no - not another farmer's market!"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'You're still keen on organic gardening then!'

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

'Want a mudpie? It's organic!'

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

'Who says you're not genetically manipulated?'

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

'Be careful...It may not be organic.'

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Heart Disease Menu

'Is it organic?'

"It's a giant banana but is it an organic giant banana?"

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'