Ironic Outdoors Enthusiast Gifts

'It's great to get back to the simple life'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"Ahhh... close enough."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

'My feet are killing me.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

Bring your own inflatable.

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

Allotment

"It's such a lovely day!"

Dog's kite's tail is wagging.

Fly Fishing

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

"You realize there’s probably an app for all this?!"

'More bubbles!'

Fishing sign.

Duck Hunt

When the world is Mud-luscious - e.e. cummings

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

Country Bumpkin.

The Brothers Grime

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

"Tallyho!"

"Off my back and out of the sack. Let's unpack and have a snack!"

"Sometimes I like to come here by myself and contemplate ... or just scream about you."

Bike Rides

'Hey - my dad promised that I'd get a gun.'

'Why Sally, you look so fetching with that stick!'

"He loves his leaf blower."

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

"When troubles begin to take their toll, it’s nice to take a little stroll!"