Outdoor Ironist Gifts

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

'It's great to get back to the simple life'

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

This isn't a good time to see him --- He just got outbid for a soul on eBay. Beelzebub.

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

Artist Misses the Point

'No doubt about it we're really lost!...Even GPS says it can't help!'

Fitted Sheet:1/Human:0

Sartre's E-Mail

Income Tax Return

'How would you like to be a big star in the circus?'

"I'm selling all my old passwords that were stolen."

Caveman Art Gallery.

'I don't like roughing it...'

Angel looking down to other angel: 'Oh, those poor meek guys - they inherited the Earth.'

'I'm not angry -- I'm just very, very disappointed!'

Big fish can't eat the little ones.

Woman throws a book titled 'How To Get Along With Others' at a passer-by.

'It's too bad about them banning DDT. I was just getting to like it.'

'I was looking at a global warming website, and the computer froze.'

Environmentally friendly woman putting slug killer down

'Listen Darling, they're playing our song!'

At the agrophobic self help group's annual picnic.

"Picking blackberries has gotten complex, hasn't it?"

'My office!!'

"You keep that up, and eventually the earth will be too warm

"It's one of those large print audiobooks."

'We help create new jobs. We pay so little they have to take second jobs.'

I'm currently unavailable, but be sure to follow me on Twitter. !?!

'I deplore the lack of internet privacy and so do 5,000 of my Facebook friends,'

'Mind the step.'

"You can't keep living in the past. Maybe it's time you started killing other people."

"We're on strike!"

"I just needed to get some fresh air."