Basketball Philosopher Gifts

'I can really empathise with the basketball hoop.'

'There's more to life than winning, son. There's also betting against your own team when you lose.'

"Good game."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Let's go over our secret play.'

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

"Yin and Yankee fan"

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

'Aw, come on guys - at the end of the day, it's only a game - right?'

"You have a good lie."

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

"Sure, Pop, I see the ball—what I don't see are incentives."

"How do you know he was offsides? How do you know anything? Isn’t it possible this is all a dream?!"

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

Basketball Players Working Together

'Wanna play? We need another body... er... one more player.'

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

You Don't Know What It's Like

Coulda Woulda Shoulda.

'Violence solves everything...'

The Thinking Man's Rugby

...'So I said forget about the wages, I just want to play football.'

'I will need to watch the replay.'

'OK, here's the play, based on your prorated salaries...'

"Just fetch, don't ask why."

'Finally, I have a player on the floor who can run the offense.'

"I'm knackered trying to keep tabs on the potential consequences of the away goal rule!"

"Sorry, I don't know what a handball is anymore either."

'I wouldn't mind but the video replay showed I was right to award the penalty.'

Grim Reaper in trainers.

'We lost six nil!. . . and we were lucky to get the nil!'

I never thought "the meaning of life" would include so many sports metaphors.

'Here! Call the contractor. I don't want to hear any nonsense about goals, or touchdowns, or baskets. I want to see shovels! Lots and lots of shovels!'