Sports Philosophers Gifts

The self-esteem police go to the olympics

"Good game."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Critisize your weight.

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

Guy in gym

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

"Yin and Yankee fan"

'On my new diet I can eat anything I want, but have to walk 500 miles a day.'

"You have a good lie."

"How do you know he was offsides? How do you know anything? Isn’t it possible this is all a dream?!"

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

"Sure, Pop, I see the ball—what I don't see are incentives."

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."

Coulda Woulda Shoulda.

"We're not too concerned about him not graduating. We've only made it to tenth grade so we're already proud."

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

"How much does it cost to buy a membership then never use it?"

'Violence solves everything...'

"Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body. . ."

"Just fetch, don't ask why."

"There it is, son, your four years at Princeton."

'Big deal. I could win every race too, if I used performance-enhancing sugar.'

'Maybe I've got washboard abs underneath - you ever think that?'

'Seems like we're all too old, unfit, overweight. . .'

'I will need to watch the replay.'