Athletic Philosopher Gifts

"Good game."

Grim Reaper in trainers.

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Critisize your weight.

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

Guy in gym

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

"Yin and Yankee fan"

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

'On my new diet I can eat anything I want, but have to walk 500 miles a day.'

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

Yoga. Welcome back! Thank you. Why did you stop coming? I couldn't decide if I liked yoga, or

"How do you know he was offsides? How do you know anything? Isn’t it possible this is all a dream?!"

"You have a good lie."

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

"Sure, Pop, I see the ball—what I don't see are incentives."

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

"We're not too concerned about him not graduating. We've only made it to tenth grade so we're already proud."

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

Coulda Woulda Shoulda.

"How much does it cost to buy a membership then never use it?"

'Violence solves everything...'

"Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body. . ."

'I will need to watch the replay.'

'It was wishful thinking when they called me 'Flash': I've never won a race in my whole life...'

...'So I said forget about the wages, I just want to play football.'

'Maybe I've got washboard abs underneath - you ever think that?'

'Seems like we're all too old, unfit, overweight. . .'

"Just fetch, don't ask why."