Athletic Philosopher Pillows

"Good game."

Grim Reaper in trainers.

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Critisize your weight.

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

Guy in gym

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

"Yin and Yankee fan"

'On my new diet I can eat anything I want, but have to walk 500 miles a day.'

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

"You have a good lie."

"Sure, Pop, I see the ball—what I don't see are incentives."

"How do you know he was offsides? How do you know anything? Isn’t it possible this is all a dream?!"

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

Coulda Woulda Shoulda.

"We're not too concerned about him not graduating. We've only made it to tenth grade so we're already proud."

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

"How much does it cost to buy a membership then never use it?"

'Violence solves everything...'

"Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body. . ."

The Thinking Man's Rugby

'Realist Trac, with 4 settings...'

'It was wishful thinking when they called me 'Flash': I've never won a race in my whole life...'

'Maybe I've got washboard abs underneath - you ever think that?'

"Just fetch, don't ask why."

"I'm knackered trying to keep tabs on the potential consequences of the away goal rule!"

'I will need to watch the replay.'