Fitness Philosophers Pillows

"I was going to mow the lawn, but I pulled three muscles trying to start the mower. It's been a long winter."

World's Emotionally Strongest Man

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"Good game."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My feet are killing me.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Dog Walking Services

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

'Well, well, well...'

Yoga for Alcoholics

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

Be Healthy

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

"This feels like an accomplishment."

Turn, turn and turn.

Muscles

On the back of the t-shirt...

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'