Fitness Fanatic Turned Philosopher Pillows

I used to believe that aging is all in the mind. That explained why brows are so wrinkled. In my youth I was the picture of health and physically fit. These days my joints noisily creak and grind whenever I move. A sinus condition causes snoring loud enough to wake my neighbors. And my stomach constantly rumbles like a cement mixer! I've gone from a sound body to a sound body. It's a circle of life, Frank.

"Good game."

Critisize your weight.

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

Robber on treadmill

'Actually, I do mind wearing your pedometer!'

Guy in gym

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

And this model comes with a fitness tracker.

Pelobong

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

"Whoa. Have you lost weight, professor?"

'Doc, I'd like you to meet my personal trainer. This should explain a lot about my medical situation!'

'His idea of healthy living is going to the pub in his tracksuit.'

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

'On my new diet I can eat anything I want, but have to walk 500 miles a day.'

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

Yoga. Welcome back! Thank you. Why did you stop coming? I couldn't decide if I liked yoga, or

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

Exercise Car.

"Wanna go scroll on our phones at the gym?"

Airport Security. I had to go through the security pat-down three times --- They had trouble believing this is just my body and I'm not hiding anything.

'I felt an overwhelming nostalgia for the old video games where you sit on your arse.'

"How much does it cost to buy a membership then never use it?"

'if your wife ever asks you to meet her at Pilates...don't! It's not a pizzeria.'

"Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body. . ."

"My New Year's resolution is to get fit and watch more TV."

'Maybe I've got washboard abs underneath - you ever think that?'

'Seems like we're all too old, unfit, overweight. . .'

'Executive Fitness Plan'