Philosophical Athlete Pillows

Football Sisyphus

"Good game."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Critisize your weight.

At the 2021 Religious Games

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"So, what are you reading?"

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

FAQs.

"Have you been working out?"

Football team discussions.

Guy in gym

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

"Yin and Yankee fan"

The secret to happiness is knowing how to keep a secret.

'Now close your eyes and visualize our upcoming softball game against the elm street zen center and kicking their sorry behinds.'

Reading An Inconvenient Truth/The Useful Lie.

'On my new diet I can eat anything I want, but have to walk 500 miles a day.'

"Sure, Pop, I see the ball—what I don't see are incentives."

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

Yoga. Welcome back! Thank you. Why did you stop coming? I couldn't decide if I liked yoga, or

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

'Go deep my son.' 'What's it all about?'

'I think things went wrong for me in the fifth round.' 'In hindsight, was that a good time to begin meditating?'

Coulda Woulda Shoulda.

"How much does it cost to buy a membership then never use it?"

'Violence solves everything...'

"Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body. . ."

The Thinking Man's Rugby

'Maybe I've got washboard abs underneath - you ever think that?'

'It was wishful thinking when they called me 'Flash': I've never won a race in my whole life...'

...'So I said forget about the wages, I just want to play football.'