Sports Philosopher Pillows

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

"Sure, Pop, I see the ball—what I don't see are incentives."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Charlie, it's us, your teammates. We're here to help you. The other team's getting an awful lot of hits and we're worried."

The Thinking Man's Rugby

Today's Sermon: Do you think God really cares who wins the superbowl or the college hoops final four?

Coulda Woulda Shoulda.

The meaning of life: baseball.

'I will need to watch the replay.'

"Well boys, after everything this team has been through, what do you think - is baseball a metaphor for life, or isn't it?"

"The refereeing was only half bad... the winning team didn't complain."

"He looks very promising - but let's see how he does in the written test."

"Good game."

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Critisize your weight.

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Guy in gym

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

"Yin and Yankee fan"

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

'On my new diet I can eat anything I want, but have to walk 500 miles a day.'

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

"How do you know he was offsides? How do you know anything? Isn’t it possible this is all a dream?!"

"You have a good lie."

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

"How much does it cost to buy a membership then never use it?"

'Violence solves everything...'

"Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body. . ."

'Big deal. I could win every race too, if I used performance-enhancing sugar.'

'It was wishful thinking when they called me 'Flash': I've never won a race in my whole life...'