Sports Couch Philosopher Pillows

"I'm knackered trying to keep tabs on the potential consequences of the away goal rule!"

"Good game."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Studies show foods work miracles!

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"You're overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

'As your financial advisor, I'd have to advise you to change your main income provider,'

Axel, I notice you read a lot of highbrow books

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

"Tom, let's explore why you feel Andrea's inability to understand 'icing the puck' is passive-aggressive."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

The big questions in life.

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

'Your dilemma is fabulous. Imagine what a dramaturge could do with it.'

'You cant do anything these days without someone suspecting your motives. . . there is only one way out. . . inaction.'

"When did this game get started?"

"I have this relationship with money, it's complicated."