Fitness Philosophical Ponderer Gifts

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"Good game."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

Chiller Theatre

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Sauce for the Goose

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

Critisize your weight.

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"Is this who I am?"

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

"I cross the road to forget."

Afraid of change - leave it here.

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

'...and that is my philosophy.'

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."