Fitness Philosophical Ponderer Gifts

Your Weight $.10. You weight 218 pounds but, oddly enough, you have no momentum.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"Good game."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Have you been playing dice?"

Chiller Theatre

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Critisize your weight.

Sauce for the Goose

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

"Is this who I am?"

"I cross the road to forget."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

An old man exercising with hourglasses

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

Afraid of change - leave it here.

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."