Health And Fitness Thinker Gifts

The ascent of man.

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

Be Healthy

"Your contents have shifted."

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

Studies show foods work miracles!

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

'Your reflexes are still good!'

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'