Fitness Journey Philosophers Gifts

Woman says treadmill reminds her of her life.

Critisize your weight.

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

Guy in gym

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

"At what point does slow jogging become walking?"

"I can't give enlightenment, only great calves."

A mid-lithe crisis.

'On my new diet I can eat anything I want, but have to walk 500 miles a day.'

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

"Well we COULD tell people to eat less and exercise more, but where's the money in that?"

"I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't what they used to be."

'I AM going to join a gym, but I've got to get in shape first. . .'

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.

Before and After diet photos.

"You're really serious about that diet!"

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"

'How much have you lost so far?', '$375.00'

"How much does it cost to buy a membership then never use it?"

'This looks good. It's a six-hour special on how society is becoming too sedentary.'

"Why do you call it a thyroid problem when it's been giving me an excuse for the 20 pounds I gained this year?"

"Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body. . ."

'Tom just had his first workout at the gym.'

"The power's out again? So what do you do when that happens?"

'Maybe I've got washboard abs underneath - you ever think that?'

'Seems like we're all too old, unfit, overweight. . .'

How much did you lose on your 14 day diet?

Obese man wearing a T-shirt with 'Too Big To Fail'.