Fitness Journey Philosophers Gifts

Woman says treadmill reminds her of her life.

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Critisize your weight.

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Guy in gym

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

"At what point does slow jogging become walking?"

"Whoa. Have you lost weight, professor?"

A mid-lithe crisis.

'On my new diet I can eat anything I want, but have to walk 500 miles a day.'

"I can't give enlightenment, only great calves."

'I AM going to join a gym, but I've got to get in shape first. . .'

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

"I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't what they used to be."

Yoga. Welcome back! Thank you. Why did you stop coming? I couldn't decide if I liked yoga, or

"Well we COULD tell people to eat less and exercise more, but where's the money in that?"

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.

Before and After diet photos.

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"

'How much have you lost so far?', '$375.00'

"You're really serious about that diet!"

"How much does it cost to buy a membership then never use it?"

'This looks good. It's a six-hour special on how society is becoming too sedentary.'

"Why do you call it a thyroid problem when it's been giving me an excuse for the 20 pounds I gained this year?"

"Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body. . ."

'Maybe I've got washboard abs underneath - you ever think that?'

'Seems like we're all too old, unfit, overweight. . .'

'Tom just had his first workout at the gym.'

"The power's out again? So what do you do when that happens?"

"I'm the 'Before' in diet ads."

How much did you lose on your 14 day diet?