Fitness Regime Realist Gifts

Rodney kicked off his new fitness regime by buying a heavier remote control

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Critisize your weight.

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Guy in gym

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

Fast Food Dieter

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

"It's improv night."

'On my new diet I can eat anything I want, but have to walk 500 miles a day.'

"I didn't miss my workout...I didn't miss it one bit!"

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

''Usually drunk with pizza.' Hey, so am I!'

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

"That's enough exercise for one day."

"How much does it cost to buy a membership then never use it?"

'It was cheaper and less painful than a Gastric Band procedure...'

"I figured one of us should use it!"

"Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body. . ."

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'I don't think cholesterol had been invented then.'

'Realist Trac, with 4 settings...'

Instagram!!!

'Maybe I've got washboard abs underneath - you ever think that?'

'Okay Kid. Start Jumping! This will be the only exercise I'll get all day.'

"This year I'm going to lose weight!"