Workout Philosopher Gifts

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

"Good game."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Critisize your weight.

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Guy in gym

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'Gathering dust isn't dangerous in itself, but it's a sign of lack of exercise.'

And this model comes with a fitness tracker.

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

'His idea of healthy living is going to the pub in his tracksuit.'

"Whoa. Have you lost weight, professor?"

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"Fit watch say me need more steps."

'On my new diet I can eat anything I want, but have to walk 500 miles a day.'

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.

'Can I have a refund if she puts the weight back on.'

"I didn't miss my workout...I didn't miss it one bit!"

Yoga. Welcome back! Thank you. Why did you stop coming? I couldn't decide if I liked yoga, or

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

"Sure, Pop, I see the ball—what I don't see are incentives."

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

'Well at least we got him off the sofa.'

Coulda Woulda Shoulda.

''Buy low, sell high' is not considered an aerobic activity.'

Airport Security. I had to go through the security pat-down three times --- They had trouble believing this is just my body and I'm not hiding anything.

'I felt an overwhelming nostalgia for the old video games where you sit on your arse.'

"Exercise?...What you need is more napping!"

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

"How much does it cost to buy a membership then never use it?"

'if your wife ever asks you to meet her at Pilates...don't! It's not a pizzeria.'

'Violence solves everything...'