Basketball Skeptic Gifts

'Here! Call the contractor. I don't want to hear any nonsense about goals, or touchdowns, or baskets. I want to see shovels! Lots and lots of shovels!'

"Good game."

The Salmon Run

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

Why moms make bad refs.

The bovine who jumped over the news went on to a great career w/ the Bulls!

'It's a combination of March Madness,,, and Linsanity,'

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

I love Basketball.

Basketball.

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Puppy.

'Hold on, Pepe!... The score is tied with less than a minute to go - and the losing team gets boiled.'

'This is it, gentlemen. The big game. A date with dentistry.'

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'In this league, guys, it's all about winning. And we're like, what, 0 and 10? That's why coach got the ax.'

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

'Billy - no! Do not ask for his autograph. He'll lose his natural fear of fans, become a nuisance, and then he'll need to be tranquilized and relocated to Europe.'

Kobe Bryant

'I just wish that meant getting ready for the prom instead of the NCAA basketball tournament.'

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

'Good news, it's not mad cow...it's March madness.'

'I hate playing stinkbugs! Every time we press them on defense, they just let 'e rip!'

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

'Two new NBA franchises: The 'Wall Street Bulls' and the 'Main street bears'.'

Sisyphus pushing a huge basketball up the hill

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"We're never going to finish this game if you keep calling 'jump ball' every two seconds."

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."