Sport Skeptics Gifts

'What a stupid game. Who'd want to play that?'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

Footballer playing for time

"How do you know he was offsides? How do you know anything? Isn’t it possible this is all a dream?!"

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."

"We daren't go in there at our age. We'd probably end up with slipped discos!"

'Team spirit, my ass.'

"It's simple, really. You're a team member when you want something. You're an employee when I want something."

'Big deal. I could win every race too, if I used performance-enhancing sugar.'

"Eh? What? Eh? I'm sorry, I dozed off during all that cross-field and back passing."

A couple of muskrats talk: 'Frankly, I've had it with hockey.'

"Come on! It's the final lap!"

"I hate golf. There's something unnatural about a game where the lowest score wins."

'Amazing! You're the first patient I've ever met who gets blisters on his feet and pain in his back just by thinking of sport!'

'Touch me and I'll see you in Strasbourg.'

Football League - Concussions R Us.

"Now isn’t this better than that silly Super Bowl game?"

'I'm using my eyes, how are you looking at it?'

'Here! Call the contractor. I don't want to hear any nonsense about goals, or touchdowns, or baskets. I want to see shovels! Lots and lots of shovels!'

'Crickets? I mean cricket?'

Lonely Trump Rally in Tulsa

'I said I was bored, not unconscious.'

'I can't decide which I'm least excited about...the royal wedding or the Olympics.'

'...You've got no game.'

"Personally, I liked this place better before it became a sports bar."

"I'm eighteen, Clay. I don't have to work out."

"Olympics? It's the first I've heard of the Olympics being on."

"In a blinding flash, Norman suddenly realises the mind-numbing boredom and utter futility of the sport that is called golf..."

Since I don't understand sports, I have no metaphors to use for our business situation.'

"Participation, yes, but when did they start handing out 'Didn't Participate' trophies?"

"I had a feeling they wouldn't stop at artificial turf."

"There's no need to be alarmed, Mr McNulty. It's quite normal for some boys to show no interest in football."