Sports Analogy Skeptics Gifts

Since I don't understand sports, I have no metaphors to use for our business situation.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

'Yes, it's a foul. But is it a flagrant foul?'

Footballer playing for time

'New rule. From now on you don't just sit in the penalty box. You also get a root canal.'

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

"I admit saying England had no hope of winning the World Cup, me Lord, but it isn't treason."

"How do you know he was offsides? How do you know anything? Isn’t it possible this is all a dream?!"

"I'm here to ensure there's no hanky-panky with the ball's inflation."

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."

Sports PsychologyBad at Sports Pscyhology.

"He's told them many a time, not to let defenders shoot, but do they take any notice. . ?"

"Atlas! We require a small sample."

A couple of muskrats talk: 'Frankly, I've had it with hockey.'

"Eh? What? Eh? I'm sorry, I dozed off during all that cross-field and back passing."

'Big deal. I could win every race too, if I used performance-enhancing sugar.'

"Come on! It's the final lap!"

'The champ will make twenty million from this fight, mainly from selling advertising space on his shorts...'

'When pastors take sports analogies too far...'

'Touch me and I'll see you in Strasbourg.'

'Amazing! You're the first patient I've ever met who gets blisters on his feet and pain in his back just by thinking of sport!'

'I'm using my eyes, how are you looking at it?'

'I said I was bored, not unconscious.'

'Here! Call the contractor. I don't want to hear any nonsense about goals, or touchdowns, or baskets. I want to see shovels! Lots and lots of shovels!'

"Honestly, I don't really start paying attention until the playoffs."

'I can't decide which I'm least excited about...the royal wedding or the Olympics.'

"Now isn’t this better than that silly Super Bowl game?"

Bob refused to play ball. Not that it mattered – the game was rained out.

'Your opponent only hit you once - the ref hit you at least a dozen times...'

'Crickets? I mean cricket?'

"I never knew you could have so much fun with a global debt bubble."

What's with all the cameras? They're filming seniors for college field hockey recruiters. I'll never be good enough to get admitted. It's just a game. In the real world. No one cared you even played. Then why do they make us do sports? To take your mind off all the college pressure!

'...You've got no game.'