Sports Analogy Lover Gifts

'When pastors take sports analogies too far...'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Alternative fielding positions

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"Either accept the pay reduction or you get sent down to the minors."

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

'We need more points in the paint.'

'...And Timmy, as usual, will guard goal.'

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

'In this...um...part of the circle...'

Dominique Valera - The King/Cat

Executive Coach: Specializing in sports metaphores.

Free Speech has heavy price.

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

Jack Nicholas - Sun-Visor

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

"Just to set the record straight, I'm leaving you because you never turn your body to the net, you don't have a smooth swing, and because your forehand, backhand, and volley are inadequate!"

The only drug this league tests positive for is Geritol.

Organically Grown Athlete - Guaranteed free of chemicals.

'Oh, great. Leonard's got quarterback on his jersey. No amount of bleach is going to get THAT out.'

'Agreed then? Your boy takes a dive in the fifth...'

'Must be that new 3D football.'

'Let's practice lobs again.'