Sports Metaphor Fan Gifts

"The doctor said my cholesterol is a par, and my blood pressure is a birdie. I don't golf, so I still don't know if I'm healthy."

'We need more points in the paint.'

"The only time I step up to the plate is when it's loaded with food."

"Staff support"

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Alternative fielding positions

Trojan Hurdler.

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

"I run around this high school track every morning."

The Harper Plays Cricket.

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

"Destroyers"

"Either accept the pay reduction or you get sent down to the minors."

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

"Your education in business and management is impressive, but I'm hesitant to put you in a leadership position now that I see you're a lemming."

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

'It's not your fault, Dewey. Whenever a call doesn't go his way, he goes ballistic.'

Boxers vs. Briefs

Executive Coach: Specializing in sports metaphores.

No wonder kickboxing seems so hard.

'Youth Baseball Clinic: How To Develop A Deep-Rooted Hatred Of The Media.'

Competitors complained that Sir Hops-A-Lot's souther steed gave him an unfair advantage."

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

Why are you dressed like a British lawyer? The term is barrister, but it doesn't surprise me you don't know that. In fact, it helps me make the case I'm here to prove today: That you're a meathead because you suffered concussions playing football. That's ridiculous. Hold on! Let your counsel represent you. I want to be fair. Counsel? Never mind. He seems to have no comment.

'You're SURE that you've played water polo before?'

"I can't see it lasting!"

'Good morning, class. I am Mr. Penny and will be your coach today. I expect you to behave - no running and jumping!'

Do you really have to do that every time you make a good call? 76. If refs acted like players.

"In this situation, I'd suggest a 5-word sentence with an action verb but hold the exclamation mark."

"I can't help being senior management..."

"It was terrible. It was like a media frenzy."

"That was one strange and confusing competition."