Metaphor Fan Gifts

Grey area ahead.

'It's probably just me, but I find the crazy thing fascinating.'

"We met in my closet."

"No man is an island, that's true, but I come pretty close."

"I can't see it lasting!"

"That fight would have gone another way if I could have gotten that damn can open. Yeah yeah, I should have had a can opener. Thanks for telling me NOW."

"Staff support"

Reading my Critics

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"Wow, what a DILF."

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

"He wasn't even early - he was on his way home from a party!"

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

A Poem about Sand

"Destroyers"

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

'Are those physical or metaphorical thunderclouds moving in.'

"It's a blood curdling novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a book about the brutal murder of a publisher..."

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

If poets wrote road signs.

"The elephant is in the OTHER room. I want to talk about the PENGUIN in the room."

Ambitions...To Eat My Words: "Lobster, Fllet Steak, Peaches in Brandy."

On the seventh day the ideation got a little heated.

"now let's try one without the tusks."

'We need more points in the paint.'

"There are far too many balls in your court, Brintner!"

'This is the eight hundred and sixty-seventh day of my captivity - How about you?'

"he's out of the woods and resting comfortably in a sunlit glade."

Broccoli reading: 'Coping with Anthropomorphism'.

"Sorry, you ran out of wishes. A ham and cheese on rye counts as three."