Metaphor Fan Gifts

Grey area ahead.

'It's probably just me, but I find the crazy thing fascinating.'

"We met in my closet."

"No man is an island, that's true, but I come pretty close."

Wild Animal Park. I'm writing the wild animal park's location on him --- We should have addressed this elephant in the room a long time ago.

Reincarnation Dept. Assignment Desk. I'm sorry sir, but I have 713 documented instances of you wishing to be "a fly on the wall".

"I can't see it lasting!"

"That fight would have gone another way if I could have gotten that damn can open. Yeah yeah, I should have had a can opener. Thanks for telling me NOW."

"Staff support"

Reading my Critics

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

The Statue of Liberty: A Journey Fan

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"Wow, what a DILF."

"He wasn't even early - he was on his way home from a party!"

A Poem about Sand

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

"Destroyers"

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

'Are those physical or metaphorical thunderclouds moving in.'

"It's a blood curdling novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a book about the brutal murder of a publisher..."

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

On the seventh day the ideation got a little heated.

"now let's try one without the tusks."

"OMG! A portal to another panel."

Ambitions...To Eat My Words: "Lobster, Fllet Steak, Peaches in Brandy."

'We need more points in the paint.'

"Your education in business and management is impressive, but I'm hesitant to put you in a leadership position now that I see you're a lemming."

If poets wrote road signs.

"The elephant is in the OTHER room. I want to talk about the PENGUIN in the room."