Sports Metaphor Lover Gifts

If this date were a baseball game, would you put it in the "win" column, or the "loss" column? Frankly, I predict you'll leave before we finish our coffee, and it will be listed in the record books as "rained out."

'She had a no-hitter going until I snuck up on her!'

"Sorry, I can't make it. My life coach benched me."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Alternative fielding positions

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

"Either accept the pay reduction or you get sent down to the minors."

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

Glenn Hoddle

'We need more points in the paint.'

Free Speech has heavy price.

Executive Coach: Specializing in sports metaphores.

"Sure, Pop, I see the ball—what I don't see are incentives."

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

"Just to set the record straight, I'm leaving you because you never turn your body to the net, you don't have a smooth swing, and because your forehand, backhand, and volley are inadequate!"

Organically Grown Athlete - Guaranteed free of chemicals.

'Agreed then? Your boy takes a dive in the fifth...'

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

Coulda Woulda Shoulda.

"..common sense has prevailed, Michael Owen's agent has let the referee off with just a severe warning."

'Well, here's your answer, Schluman. How can I possible promote you to district sales manager if you can't even palm a basketball?'

You Don't Know What It's Like

"The match fixers are making it a bit obvious."

"You can't beat Channel 5's sport coverage."

'I will need to watch the replay.'

'When pastors take sports analogies too far...'

...'So I said forget about the wages, I just want to play football.'

Newspaper Co. Sports Desk. Ernie, we need headlines for our series of articles on sports stars trying to revive their careers. Let's start with the Australian athlete. "Boomerang Thrower's Comeback." A basketball player bulked up to become competitive again. "Hoopster Muscles Way to Rebound"! The tennis star overcame a serious illness and is back on the court. "Tennis Champ Rallies: Makes Exciting Return"! The skier, on the other hand, had to retire. He's a politician in a dirty electi