Sports Analogy Lover Pillows

'When pastors take sports analogies too far...'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Alternative fielding positions

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

Pole Vault Rules

Ok, ok, maybe you guys are right - maybe I do have a concussion.

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Footballer kicking his own brain.

"Either accept the pay reduction or you get sent down to the minors."

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

Glenn Hoddle

'...And Timmy, as usual, will guard goal.'

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

'We need more points in the paint.'

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

'In this...um...part of the circle...'

Executive Coach: Specializing in sports metaphores.

Dominique Valera - The King/Cat

Jack Nicholas - Sun-Visor

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

Free Speech has heavy price.

"Just to set the record straight, I'm leaving you because you never turn your body to the net, you don't have a smooth swing, and because your forehand, backhand, and volley are inadequate!"

Organically Grown Athlete - Guaranteed free of chemicals.

The only drug this league tests positive for is Geritol.

You Don't Know What It's Like

'Agreed then? Your boy takes a dive in the fifth...'

'Must be that new 3D football.'

'Oh, great. Leonard's got quarterback on his jersey. No amount of bleach is going to get THAT out.'