Ironic Sports Lover Pillows

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

Alternative fielding positions

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'Best save I've ever seen.'

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Football heads...

Punishment for the kicker.

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

'...And Timmy, as usual, will guard goal.'

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

Ski Surfing

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

'In this...um...part of the circle...'

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

Dominique Valera - The King/Cat

Free Speech has heavy price.