Sports Irony Lover Pillows

'He hates basketball! He hates basketball! He hates basketball...'

Bob refused to play ball. Not that it mattered – the game was rained out.

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Alternative fielding positions

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

Team medic spraying deodorant

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

Loser's Podium.

'It's not your fault, Dewey. Whenever a call doesn't go his way, he goes ballistic.'

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

"I'm here to ensure there's no hanky-panky with the ball's inflation."

'Youth Baseball Clinic: How To Develop A Deep-Rooted Hatred Of The Media.'

Competitors complained that Sir Hops-A-Lot's souther steed gave him an unfair advantage."

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

Free Speech has heavy price.

The Washington Arbitrators

'You're SURE that you've played water polo before?'

"Please stand and join us in half-assing your way through our national anthem."

"Just to set the record straight, I'm leaving you because you never turn your body to the net, you don't have a smooth swing, and because your forehand, backhand, and volley are inadequate!"

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