Dog Park Philosopher Gifts

"If he wants that stick, why did he throw it all the way over there?"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

"Yes, one is a dog."

Cat Reunion

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

"Hey, that's disgusting! You can't leave that on the footpath: Make sure your master comes and picks it up!"

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"Dogs are men."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"We're gonna need a bigger comic."

'Instead of throwing sticks, why don't we sit down and tackle some sudoku?'

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

"Now this is a dog park!"

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

The Inner Dog.

"Well, there goes your theory of him thinking of you as his pack leader."

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

The question is, where does want to go for a walk end and need to go for a walk begin? Existentialist dogs.

When dogs appear to be deep in thought.

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."