Park Philosophers Gifts

"And on the day I gave up bread."

"I'm sorry they got rid of the statues in this park."

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"I'm bored."

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"So, what do you do for play?"

"Recess does things to a man."

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

'Don't let them know you're a prodigy. If they find out, they'll take away your teddy bear.'

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'Man. Piltdown Man.'

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

Little boys

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

"What they lose on the swings we gain on the roundabouts."

"OK, I'll play outside, but what do I do when I get out of Wi-Fi range?"

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

'I don't have to go to school. My mom teachers me.'

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

"Wanna swap?"

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."

"Edward, if you don't mind, this is very serious."

Modern Nursery Rhymes

"Word around school is you've been attributing Shakespeare's works to Edward de Vere."