Park Philosophers Gifts

"And on the day I gave up bread."

"I'm sorry they got rid of the statues in this park."

Jurassic Parking Lot

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"I'm bored."

"So, what do you do for play?"

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"Recess does things to a man."

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'Don't let them know you're a prodigy. If they find out, they'll take away your teddy bear.'

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'Man. Piltdown Man.'

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

Little boys

"So where do you get all your ideas from?"

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

"What they lose on the swings we gain on the roundabouts."

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

'I don't have to go to school. My mom teachers me.'

"OK, I'll play outside, but what do I do when I get out of Wi-Fi range?"

"Wanna swap?"

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."

'Is he taking the piss?'

"Edward, if you don't mind, this is very serious."