Philosophers Of The Park Gifts

'I studied the issues, reviewed the facts, considered all the alternatives and decided 'the hell with it'.'

"So, what do you do for play?"

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

The Boys of Indian Summer

"So where do you get all your ideas from?"

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

"Wanna swap?"

"My name is Proust. I've forgotten my room number."

'Is he taking the piss?'

Modern Nursery Rhymes

Nursery - Products That Help Things Grow... Products That Kill Things.

Mission Impossible

Parking Yesterday, Parking Tomorrow, But Never Parking Today.

"You can't compete with a retired pharmacist."

"Wood-oven-toasted rosemary focaccia or traditional baguette?"

Mobile Holmes.

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

"What's the furthest away, America or the moon..?"CartoonStock Upload

You can't go back.

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

Divers Lap Pool

Man reading in a dark park using a streetlight as a book light

'What a beautiful landscape!'

"You propose to me and now you want me to sign a prenup!?"

"If he wants that stick, why did he throw it all the way over there?"

'Sure I'd like to have everything but where would I put it?'

"Venal, narcissistic, power hungry politicians. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em."

"Ah...Good morning Sir, we're from the 'couldn't give a toss party."

"We're playing Redistribution of Wealth."

"Not unless they're gluten-free bread crumbs."

"I have to quit the swim team. My braces rusted."

"I bet they're not so much commandments as best practice guidelines, am I right?"