Dog Philosopher Gifts

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"What truth can there be, if there is only death?" "Too early for Tolstoy."

The question is, where does want to go for a walk end and need to go for a walk begin? Existentialist dogs.

'I'm a lover not a biter.'

"Why so sad, Pal?"

'Unfortunately for us it's a dog eat dog food world, son.'

'...and God created canine in his own image.'

"I stay at home and do nothing. He goes to work and makes the world worse, whose life is more worthwhile?"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

"Yes, one is a dog."

Cat Reunion

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"Dogs are men."

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

Flea Philosophy.

'Instead of throwing sticks, why don't we sit down and tackle some sudoku?'

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

The Inner Dog.

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'