Puppy Philosopher Gifts

Books for dogs dealing with life issues.

You read the instructions upside down.

"Oh, she hears the bark, but all the nuance goes right over her head."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

'I'm teaching him to give me a doggie treat whenever I lay real still.'

'Am I missing something here?'

"I gotta get another hobby."

"Talking's ok but to me walking on your hind legs is simply taking anthropomorphism a bit too far."

"Trust me, catching it isn't that satisfying."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

Cat Reunion

"Yes, one is a dog."

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

"Dogs are men."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

'Instead of throwing sticks, why don't we sit down and tackle some sudoku?'

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

The Inner Dog.

'To woof or not to woof...'

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'