Dog Philosophizer Gifts

"Personally, I don't think anything is actualized until one rolls in it."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"Yes, one is a dog."

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

Cat Reunion

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"Dogs are men."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

'Instead of throwing sticks, why don't we sit down and tackle some sudoku?'

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

The Inner Dog.

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

"Well, there goes your theory of him thinking of you as his pack leader."

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

When dogs appear to be deep in thought.

"You need a hobby."

"These dizzy spells, I have a theory."

"Why so sad, Pal?"

"This ham bone did not have much meat on it by the time I met it, but it tasted of meat, and for that I am eternally grateful."