Philosophical Pup Gifts

The meaning of life...

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Yes, one is a dog."

Cat Reunion

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"Dogs are men."

Dog training

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

'She broke up with me because I'm a stray and, thus, always have fleas!'

The Inner Dog.

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

Monk & Mandi: "I only obey twice a day."

"You need a hobby."

Dog on couch at psychiatrist office talking about love and liver snacks

"These dizzy spells, I have a theory."

"Ugh, tell me about it! They pressure you to be a good boy and I get unreal expectations of prettiness!"

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

"Talking's ok but to me walking on your hind legs is simply taking anthropomorphism a bit too far."

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

Descartes' dog.

'Sure, I can talk, but I still feel culturally illiterate.'

Hemingway's dog meets Faulkner's Dog.

"But the best thing about getting neutered, Gus, is that I'm finally able to focus on my novel-in-progress without any distractions!"

"I bark, therefore I am."

"Trust me, catching it isn't that satisfying."

The Free Range Finch

I wonder if they can think...