Literary Pup Gifts

"But the best thing about getting neutered, Gus, is that I'm finally able to focus on my novel-in-progress without any distractions!"

"He thinks he's going with us, so he packed those himself. He even brought a book to read on the plane. I don't have the nerve to tell him he's not coming with us."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

Dog training

'She broke up with me because I'm a stray and, thus, always have fleas!'

Good boy

'To woof or not to woof...'

Zack Brillard and Live-In Companion

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

'He can't speak to the dead, but he can speak to the dead.'

'I don't mind playing dead...but what I'd really like to do is direct.'

"Talking's ok but to me walking on your hind legs is simply taking anthropomorphism a bit too far."

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

'My, my, don't we look fetching.'

"Trust me, catching it isn't that satisfying."

"I wish I'd never taught him to read - now he takes forever to go to the bathroom."

Books for dogs dealing with life issues.

You read the instructions upside down.

"I think I'll go for the Barf Bits du Jour."

'Oh, so you do keep track of where you bury things.'

'What about the arts? I need to learn MORE than just obedience!'

How to be your own best friend...

'I must advise you to stop sticking your nose into everything.'

The meaning of life...

'!!X@#!! Reincarnation!'

'I'm teaching him to give me a doggie treat whenever I lay real still.'

'On the other hand, I really don't do that much reading.'

"Oh, she hears the bark, but all the nuance goes right over her head."

'With a little patience you can teach a dog to do anything.'

"I gotta get another hobby."

'Am I missing something here?'

"I am blue."